Today I'm making the first of which I hope will be many trips to sunny London.
I'm also making this coincide with a business team meeting which unfortunately finishes before my donation is scheduled to begin. Therefore I shall have to make the excuse that I have a doctors appointment and no-one asks me where I am going.
I am an honest person, I don't like lying - and I certainly don't want to tell everyone in the meeting room that I'm off to make a donation.
Why you ask? Well if you're reading this blog now (and not one of my donor conceived children in 20 years) there is a certain amount of stigma with donation. First of all barely anyone does it. Around 270 people still donate - compared to 450 a couple of years ago before anonymity was abolished. I think the majority don't want a kid knocking on their door in 18 years demanding why they ruined their life by donation. Obviously like any parent of course we want the best and believe me, it's a difficult decision letting someone else bring up what is in essence is your own biological child.
I think most men are worried about meeting peoples eyes in the donation clinic - they know exactly what they're going for - everyone will be looking! But I see it from the other side of the fence - some of those people will be donation, the others have fertility problems and you are making the process happen.
Then of course there is the 'room'. Every man wonders what they'll find in the room. I suspect it'll have a few dirty magazines giving it a seedy feel. Personally it sounds like a good story for the pub, but we'll see.
I have to get moving now - it's almost time to catch the train to get London bound.
Thursday, 31 May 2007
Tuesday, 22 May 2007
First call
Today I decided to make the telephone call. Having been on the NGA (National Gametes Association) website I've got a list of all the 'local' offices for donation.
The short answer is that there isn't one - the nearest is 60 miles away in sunny London. Generally I goto London once a month - I was under the foolish assumption that I would only be making two or three donations over a few months. This is, unfortunately incorrect. I will need to make around 15 donations, at least once a week. Each donation has to be done on site (this didn't suprise me) and the first donation will take the longest - not because I'll have any trouble but because they need to run tests on the freezeability, STD's etc. Oh, and the councilling.
If my sperm doesn't meet the grade (And apparently a lot doesn't) I will not be offered the opportunity to donate. More worrying I will also have difficulty conceiving (should I decide to) with my own girlfriend who has problems of her own. Problems can include mobility, low levels of sperm and freezing problems. The latter of these won't cause a problem in natural conception, but the rest is still a worry.
On the plus side, it will mean I don't have to catch a weekly train to the center of London during rush hour only to battle home five minutes later.
For those who think I'm doing this for fiscal reasons, please note that the average cost of going into London is £12 - but I can't buy this ticket and get home (my ticket wouldn't be valid!) so I will require a return. This cost will be met by the clinic - as will a 'missed work' fee. Whilst I might come out of this with a few beers under my belt I will not have anywhere near enough to retire.
The short answer is that there isn't one - the nearest is 60 miles away in sunny London. Generally I goto London once a month - I was under the foolish assumption that I would only be making two or three donations over a few months. This is, unfortunately incorrect. I will need to make around 15 donations, at least once a week. Each donation has to be done on site (this didn't suprise me) and the first donation will take the longest - not because I'll have any trouble but because they need to run tests on the freezeability, STD's etc. Oh, and the councilling.
If my sperm doesn't meet the grade (And apparently a lot doesn't) I will not be offered the opportunity to donate. More worrying I will also have difficulty conceiving (should I decide to) with my own girlfriend who has problems of her own. Problems can include mobility, low levels of sperm and freezing problems. The latter of these won't cause a problem in natural conception, but the rest is still a worry.
On the plus side, it will mean I don't have to catch a weekly train to the center of London during rush hour only to battle home five minutes later.
For those who think I'm doing this for fiscal reasons, please note that the average cost of going into London is £12 - but I can't buy this ticket and get home (my ticket wouldn't be valid!) so I will require a return. This cost will be met by the clinic - as will a 'missed work' fee. Whilst I might come out of this with a few beers under my belt I will not have anywhere near enough to retire.
Monday, 21 May 2007
Why
I have been thinking carefully about this decision for the best part of three years. My previous partner was uncomfortable with me donating before the new laws in the UK made donation more daunting. For those who don't know, in 2005 the UK government abolished the right of all sperm donors to remain anonymous. Therefore in 18 years time (and 9 months) I could have a knock on the door.
But, after some complentation I decided that this didn't worry me. After all the donation will be made to another couple whom will bring up and love the child in the same way I should. I guess the only thing I really worry about is the loss of control - I am technically contributing to someone elses life without meeting them. I'm having to rely on the NHS to find suitable donors.
Somewhere someone wants to conceive and generally through no fault of their own can't. I can help them.
But, after some complentation I decided that this didn't worry me. After all the donation will be made to another couple whom will bring up and love the child in the same way I should. I guess the only thing I really worry about is the loss of control - I am technically contributing to someone elses life without meeting them. I'm having to rely on the NHS to find suitable donors.
Somewhere someone wants to conceive and generally through no fault of their own can't. I can help them.
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